Expert tells parents to ask baby’s consent when changing diapers

An Australian “sexuality educator” has sparked an online firestorm by suggesting that parents ask babies for permission before changing their diapers. Deanne Carson argues that teaching a “culture of consent” should start at birth—a claim that has left many scratching their heads, while some wonder if it extends to getting “consent from your cat to clean its litter tray.”

Carson’s point isn’t about expecting a verbal “yes” from an infant. She explains that narrating actions—like saying, “I’m going to change your diaper now, is that okay?”—and pausing to read the baby’s body language introduces respect for personal boundaries from the very start. Her goal is to create a foundation for communication and awareness, even in those who can’t yet speak.

“Of course, a baby isn’t going to respond, ‘Yes, Mom, I love a nappy change,’” Carson told Australia’s ABC. “But leaving a moment to read their cues—eye contact, body movements—lets them know their responses matter.” Pediatric experts often emphasize reading non-verbal cues as a key part of healthy development, and Carson frames consent as an extension of that practice.

Yet the suggestion has divided opinions. Critics, including Rowan Dean of The Spectator Australia and parenting expert John Rosemond, call the idea impractical, even “lunacy.” Rosemond argues it risks creating “a family culture of confusion, mistrust, denial and dysfunction.” Social media erupted with sarcastic comments:

• “Pretty sure when a baby cries from a full diaper, that’s consent. Actually, that’s a demand.”
• “Do you need to get consent from your cat to change its litter tray? No. Same with a baby. Just do it!”

Still, others defend Carson’s approach, emphasizing that modeling respect and communication has value, even if infants can’t literally consent. One supporter wrote, “Babies learn to communicate long before they speak. Showing respect and acknowledging them creates healthy habits.” Another added, “Easy to chat with your baby. Easy to create a climate of consent at home.”

Ultimately, asking a baby’s permission may come down to parenting style. Some families may choose it as a tool to foster respect and connection, while others focus on observation, engagement, and responsiveness without the verbal framing. The key takeaway? Being mindful and communicative with infants builds trust, regardless of method.

What do you think—should parents ask babies for consent during diaper changes, or is it over the top? Share your thoughts and spread the conversation!